As American as Popeye's Chicken

So here is the one sports related post of my blogging career. While I am sure Barry Bonds is a hero to many of you, for me he is yet another shining example of why I have no respect for professional athletes(insert joke here about my lack of athletic ability). Below is an excerpt from his grand jury transcript from last year.

While the entire Bonds transcript is worth a read, we particularly enjoyed his answer to a question posed by one juror about Greg Anderson, the athlete's beleaguered friend and trainer. "With all the money you make, have you ever thought of maybe building him a mansion or something?" Bonds replied, "One, I'm black. And I'm keeping my money. And there's not too many rich black people in this world. And I'm keeping my money. There's more wealthy Asian people and Caucasian and white. There ain't that many rich black people. And I ain't giving my money up. That's why.

Hey guess what everyone, Barry Bonds is Black!! And, as it turns out, that isn't a bat on his shoulder, its a huge fucking chip.

You keep your money Barry....eventually you are gonna need it to post bail.

He's Just Happy to Be a Brown.........

Phil strikes quick to get our 1st new D Lineman. Hopefully we'll get some more.

Outclassed

Gentlemen of the Blog-

Roachman here. Needless to say I have no cool pictures or cool links. As far as bloggin goes, I am as unwelcomed as the fat chick friend ruining your game on what you "percieve" to be a hottie at the bar. I say "percieve" because after 12 beers you probably all are as pathetic judging chicks as I am.

I am drunk on a Thursday night. Since many of the contributors of this here blog are BG'ers, let me tell you my recollections of that great learning institution. Z- I remember drinking all day at BW3's and then going to the rec and running the show on the courts. Vinnie had nothing on me....GET OFF ME. I could not be stopped. I remember Ziggies and playin pool...Maizer buying me shots.....eating taco bell....some Chinese volleyball player driving me home and almost killing me (I think she was hot). I remember being framed for kicking spindles out at the Frazees apartment complex. Erin Norman is hot-nice pic from whoever put that up. But- she had a fellow chearleader friend D'Yesha or something who sucked- kinda hot but you only put up with her because she was Erin's friend.

Anyways, I am am drunk and out. Don D.- have a coke and a smile. the browns tendered Derek (suck my balls) anderson and if we are lucky he will be gone. he is a one season wonder.

I know I am the worst blogger here, but i think i was the first one to post- so that's got to count for something.

Roach

Now this is football!

I have no doubt Beta has done this at least once during his four years "quarterbacking" his college soccer team.

4.27 40-yard dash

So this is the first season I've been able to watch the NFL Combine coverage on the NFL Network... in high definition, by the way. Yes, while it may seem lame, this is some fascinating shit. I can't get enough of watching these dudes perform the 40-yard dash, broad jump, high jump, 3-cone drill, etc.

I'm not saying I want Chris Johnson with our 56th pick in the second round, the Browns need defense. But if you have a few minutes head to NFL.com and check out the video of East Carolina running back Chris Johnson. Dude ran a 4.27 in the 40. He was floating.

A Few Motivational Posters You Might Enjoy........

No Comment...

Nice!

WTF!

Where's Carl when you need him?

It's good to be King.

Magumbos!

Cleveland Football Browns D!

I stole this link from the Sports Guy's link today. Its very interesting and promising to read our D is a blueprint for success. I thought we played the Patriots tough in 2007, but the score failed indicate such.

Yes, I'm on fire with posts today!!!

http://www.eagletribune.com/pusports/local_story_044005441.html?keyword=topstory

Hot Girl Friday

Remember her? She's Z dream girl and the single reason BG was good in Basketball and Football while she was the "recruiting" coordinator. Yes, she's the girl who showed the high school senior around campus. She was also Don's defensive assignment one day at the field house in a 5 on 5 basketball game where she was the only female playing. I present to you, Ms. Erin Norman.

The Real Big Ben

Forget the fact that he has a tattoo on his arm of a clock, we now have a real defensive presents in the lane. More importantly, Worthless (Larry Hughes) is gone! Remember this guy is crazy too; he's the one who provoked the Pistons/Pacers Artest brawl. I'm fired up.

"Bat Out Of Hell"

This picture is great on so many levels. This picture does bring up a great memory I have while attending an Indians game at The Jake err Prog.

Don, some dude named Troy, and I were sitting in the lower reserves near the ball boy in right field. Next to the foul pole, in foul territory, sitting directly against the rail was a 12ish year old girl, her father, then her mother (in that order from the field.) A lefty was up to bat and hit a rope, and I mean a rope... one of those ropes that only a lefty can hit where the ball starts off heading straight for right center then somehow ends up in the seats just before the foul pole. As the ball nears the seats at 200 MPH, mom and the old man take cover towards the concession stands. This leaves said girl sitting alone and gets tattooed on the right arm. She starts balling immediately, stadium personnel are heading her way to check her condition, and Super-Hero Dad is consoling his daughter. I remember a ball mark on the girls arm and us three guys yelling some choice words to Dad regarding his heroic dive out of the way leaving Daddy's little girl to fend for herself... Great times.

Our Coach Dakich

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/columns/story?columnist=forde_pat&id=3254000&sportCat=ncb&campaign=rss&source=ESPNHeadlines

How great would it be to see Coach Dakich on the sidelines as head coach of Indiana? BG ran him out of town even with the success he had at the school. Understand he had the worst facilities in the MAC... by far. From BG not renewing his contract to Director of Basketball Operations to Assistant Indiana Coach to Interim Head Indiana Coach... I love it. Another great reason BG is second rate in MAC sports.

XBox 360 or not

So I'm having trouble deciding whether or not I want to purchase an XBox 360 with the $600 stimulus check we're receiving thanks to the federal government.

Now that I'm almost 30, I can't decide if this will be a worthwhile purchase or not. Looking at games like Grand Theft Auto 4, Madden 09, Tiger 09 and Guitar Hero on the horizon coupled with my HDTV, it gets me excited. But what if I simply don't have the time? Between work, golf and football season, when will I get in some time playing video games? Is burn-in really a possibility with my plasma?

Anyway, as I debate these issue, I come across a new release that is really pushing me toward picking up an XBox 360... soon!

I present: WNBA Live 2008!

Good Morning!

Morning fellas! I just woke up to come down stairs to get some whipped cream to rub all over my body. I was really sad to hear that Hubie dropped the ball on hot girl Friday so maybe I'll stop by in a couple of days and make it all better.....

Hubie cried wolf...

So now that I am an old married man, the only thing I have to look forward to is "Hot Girl Fridays". However, last Friday Hubie didn't post what he promised would, "make us very excited". He has 14 hours to rectify this issue by getting something up asap. So, slap that cheerleader skirt on the nearest tenderoni you can find and start snapping away.

Ferry had about a 20 minute window to make a deal and failed

So, after we watched the game on Monday and saw Larry Hughes play phenomenal. My only thought was that Danny Ferry should have been on the phone trying to deal him about five minutes into that incredible 3rd quarter he had....with that said I am starting to get very nervous that we are going to lose LeBron when his contract is up. I know about matching money and all of that, but is there really anyway at all that we can get someone that will be able to score consistently......

Douche bag move of the day

In our front lobby of my place of business, we have our 22 weekly community newspapers available for purchase on one side of the room and a small waiting area on the other.

Located in that small waiting area is a stack of today's daily editon of the Columbus Dispatch.

I witnessed first hand an employee head toward the daily paper, sift out the Sports section, the Life & Arts section and Weekend Magazine suppliment, tuck it under his arm and walk back to his desk.

Really? He's going to pull this? What a dick move. Take the whole paper or nut up on your way into work and spend $.50 for a copy. Hell, daily newspapers are so useless now he can find all he needs on the paper's Web site.

To leave a paper with the A1 section and Buisness section for people stuck in the waiting room certainly qualifies for a douche bag move.

Prick.

Finally, someone to kick Vern Troyer's ass.

On the left is Aditya "Romeo" Dev. He is 2-foot-9 tall and regarded as the world's smallest bodybuilder. He also makes me laugh.

Look, we all know midgets and farts are always funny, but midgets who are work out freaks? Sorry, that makes me happy in so many ways.

Romeo said: "I've been training as a bodybuilder for the last two years and by now I think I must be the strongest dwarf in the world.

"I have always been fit but since I started working out, I have become famous for my strength.

"My size has never stopped me. I train with dumbbells and do aerobics and dance. People are always pleased to see me. I have been invited on TV shows and dance on stage."

I need that video of this guy dancing. Consider it an early wedding present.

10-for-26 passing for 103 yards, 0 TDs, 1 INT and 1 fumble

Yup, that was my day at the Pro Bowl on Feb. 10, 2008. Nope, it wasn't the best performance and was quite reminicent of my play against in Cincinnati in Week 16. Remember that game? The Browns were all but eliminated from the 2007 playoffs thanks to me.

Now, the offseason officially begins and I'm still looking for a six-year contract. The Browns are only giving me three years. That's some bullshit. I threw for almost 4,000 yards and 30 touchdowns and thanks to me the Browns were 10-6 and earned double digit win total for the first time since 1994.

I don't know why there are Browns fans out there like Ken Delnoce who hate me. OK, I had a bad game against the Bengals... and Raiders... and Steelers... and Cardinals. What the hell do you expect, I was a SIXTH ROUND pick.

I think there are fans, like Ken, who are down on me for 2008. They want to dump a quarterback who essentially in his first year as a starter put up solid enough numbers to go to Hawaii for a rookie quarterback who is suspect and couldn't win a big game at Notre Dame where the schedule includes Navy, Syracuse and the Ohio University field hockey team.

Give me one more year, that's all I ask. It is not time to worry about a quarterback controversy right now. Let's get the defense improved then bring this topic up at the end of 2008. Yes, after the Browns return home from Tampa and Super Bowl XLIII.

Sincerely yours,

Horseballs

Was He In His Twilight?

What do you think? Is Clemens guilty? He's in so deep now, if the DNA off those needles come back to match him... he's off to prison. I've been saying for the last 5 years when everyone was on Barry Bonds' ass for steroids, "What about Roger Clemens?" Whatever. I do believe MLB can recoup after Bonds is found guilty, I don't know if it can when Clemens is found guilty.
Its like this, Vick goes to prison and the NFL carries on with no problem. Favre goes to prison for steroids or dog fighting and the NFL takes a huge hit for a long time.

As "The Day" nears

Bryon "Beta" Moore will be entering Holy Matrimony on Saturday. Gotta say, even though we're getting older ("screaming toward 30" as Ken said) it is still strange when one of us get married.

Some here at Coming Up Milhouse are married, others are approaching marriage and others are still single. No matter the case, we can all agree to wish Beta and Megan the best of luck.

Plus, those of us invited are looking forward to a good time on Saturday night.

By the way, the picture above is the best wedding picture I've ever seen. So much to take in, I can't stop staring at it.

Hey Phoenix front office, he's OLD!

Remember when Shaq was relevant? Sure hasn't been the last two seasons. Miami won the NBA title in the 2005-06 season, but let's face it that was on the back of Dwayne "Pookie" Wade.

That didn't matter to Phoenix. The team with the best record in the West, the team that is the most fun to watch (aside from our beloved Cavs) and the team that has been on the cusp of reaching the NBA Finals thinks adding Shaq will put you there? I think not. The Suns' style of ball is fast-paced, up-and-down-the-court action, now you're going to throw an 36-year-old 7-foot-1 fat ass with a bad hip and knees out there?

Wow, bad call.

Our Blog

I got a few requests.

1. I don't know who everyone is and I certainly don't want to try and remember your screen name(s.) Can you update your profile to include, at the very least, your first name? Then check the box that says "display your name in your profile?" Unless its obvious who you are from your screen name, this would help.

B. Z, this may not be possible because of how Blog Spot is set up but... Is there anyway to have the comments posted on the main page? Digging down to another page to see comments sucks, but I understand if there is nothing you can do.

III. This is just my preference, but I don't want this blog to turn into You Tube. If you post a video, picture, or another person's article, write a little commentary. I'd like to point to Don's snippet when he posted the picture of Rolshingerewsger and B. Edwards, which was good. Posting a video or someone else's rant, without your own thoughts, no good.

Last thought, my hot girl Friday post will make a lot of you very, very happy.

Keeping with the Douchebag theme (for Rastok)...

I can't believe this isn't up here yet...

Fashion Sense

Firstly, on a side note, how about Derek Anderson making the Pro Bowl? Ken, you still want the Browns to ditch a Pro Bowl quarterback for an unproven rookie? Yeah, good call there.

Anyway, here's Horseball's top wide receiver getting a little too handsy with the most overrated quarterback in the NFL. Disgusting.

In honor of Coach Knight resigning

So Bobby Knight is stepping down as coach in the middle of the season. I was quite shocked he resigned, but he is getting up there in age. Anyway, in his honor I'll post this You Tube clip of his out-takes from a golfing show he had back in the 90s. This is by far the most enjoyable 9:41 you'll ever witness.

The Real Deal

Just disturbing.....

Whether it be alcohol, drugs or a general lack of education I implore you to find a reason as to how this happens.....
Court Reporters Worst Nightmare - Watch more free videos

Duttman in surgery

Yeah, that statement has become quite common. In honor of Dutt having is appendix removed, I present some information so we can further understand what he's going through.

So, I was thinking last night.....

Watching that game (which was great by the way) I realized quickly how no matter how good a team is, they are only as good as their front 7 plays. I would say that the most talented team did not win the game last night, but the team that dominated the line of scrimmage won the game. Which brings me to our Brown's and our less than impressive front 7. Realistically we have the one of the bottom five in the league and until that changes we'll always be like a world class sprinter with a missing foot, we have all the tools but we are missing a REALLY important part. I'd like to get some feedback as to who is available in the offseason and what we could actually put on the field next year. I think it is safe to say that our only person that is a legitmate NFL playmaker is Wimbley. So how do we upgrade the other spots?

Hot Girl Friday

She is the only reason to sit through the two-hour suck fest that is "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry."

I present, Jessica Biel: